12w6d - the last day of the first trimester...

Hi all!

Wow - well, don't blink because that went fast! I am starting to get my energy back, which is very nice and was even able to do some gardening today. Our yard needs it sooo badly, but the until today, the weather and my energy level hasn't allowed me to start working on it!

I applied for a job in Torrance yesterday so I can work closer to home. Hoping that all works out as the drive is just too long. I really, really love the clinic I work at now, and will definitely miss it.

Hummm, writer's block right now...guess I'll have to be back later. I'm really trying to post more regularly, but would be nice if I had something to say!

xoxo Yo!

11w6d - It's been a while!

Hi all,

So the first trimester really kicked my butt.  Plus, this time I was working full time and caring for Sean!  But, it's all good, and I would go through anything to be blessed with a brother or sister for Sean and our family. 

We had our NT scan yesterday, and it went well.  1/580 for Down's, and 1/15,000 for trisomy 18.  We've decided to not get a CVS at this time as the risk of CVS is about 1/250.  We'll have the quad screening - a blood test that screens for 4 blood levels (I can't remember which ones right now!), and they will do that right at 15 weeks.  We should have results by 16 weeks, and we can decide on amnio at that point.  California now combines 1st trimester and 2nd trimester screen results, so we'll see a combined number this time, instead of 2 different ones.  With Sean, our odds of chromosomal abnormalities actually "increased" meaning that the chances showed a greater possibility of possible problems, so we did the amnio.  But, had we combined the results, we would have actually been lower...so, we'll see in 3 weeks!

The OB who did it was great, and the u/s tech was amazing too.  She guessed "girl" and said her and the MD are about 85% accurate, but we've BTDT - they guessed girl with Sean too, so we're not going out to buy pink dresses yet!  :-)  Okay, now for the fun part - here are the pictures and videos!

Here is a video!

5w1d - am I a crazy person? ;-)

Hi All,

First of all, never posted my 2nd beta results. 

13dpo=231 hCG, 42 progesterone
18dpo=2069 DT=38.01


So numbers are looking good.  Now a waiting game until January 7 at 3pm.  Should I add a count-down ticker?  Or will I just obsess???

Hummm, too late...I am already obsessing!  My name is Yolande and I am a POAS addict!

Okay - just giving you your laugh for today!

xoxo Yo

4w4d - getting 2nd beta today

Hi all,

Got results from beta and progesterone from last Thursday.  I was 3w6d, or 13 DPO:

Progesterone:  42 (sorry to those I told it was 40 - just forgot the number!)
Beta:  231

These are the highest numbers I've had in a pregnancy.  Hoping that means the little bean will stick, and that it's nothing bad having high numbers....of course my mind goes to the worst places...molar...or the most overwhelming places...twins - even though on one recent post I said I'd welcome that!

In any case, I will go in for a 2nd beta quant today, to see how much the hcg has changed.  I so want Sean to have a little brother or sister!!!

Boy, this first trimester stuff is soooo hard!  But, it's not in my hands, so all I can do is enjoy watching my baby boy walk all around as I post!  Oh, I'm hoping to get in for his 12-month check up today since I'll be in Santa Monica for my beta.  I'll call them later this am.

Oh, POAS again, and it was much darker!  Grow little bean, GROW!  Dawn - that goes for you too!!!

xoxo Yo!

4w2d - more POAS

Hi all,

Okay, here are the series of POAS from the past several days.  I'm not sure the lighting shows a lot darker today, but in person, I can tell today's test is much darker.  I'll have to take a pic of the strip of tests I've taken and post those at some time.  For now, here you go:

12/8/09


12/10/09


12/13/09


Well, I know they are different sizes, but oh well.  I'm praying every day that this bean sticks and grows into a healthy baby with a heart beat!

Shout out to DAWN - yay for being pregnant buddies due on the SAME date!!!

Love to all,

xoxo Yo!

3w6d - the waiting game

Hi all,

Boy, wish this was all in my hands.  But, alas, it is not.  I am hopeful, but realistic.  Any sacrifice is worth the reward of having a child. 

Here is today's POAS.  MUCH darker!  I went in for a beta quant and progesterone test, and will, hopefully, find results out tomorrow. 

A few shout outs - to DAWN!!!  Girlfirend, I so hope we can be pregnant together.  Wouldn't that be a blessing and a miracle?  I am praying big-time for you!

To Monty - so excited for you!!!!!  Can't wait to see wonderful pics of you and baby Kell.  What a blessing.  Hang in there.

Love to all the others out there! 

xoxo Yo

bfp...cautious, but optimistic

Well, got a BFP this at 3w4d (11 DPO).  I can't believe it.  Cautiously optimistic!  Here are the pics:

I know you can barely see the IC in the left pic, but I took a chance and used a digi.  Couldn't believe it says Yes+ - and within about 3 minutes! 

PRAYING for a sticky bean...would LOVE to give Sean a little brother or sister...or both???!!!

xoxo Yo!

Enjoying the Holidays

Just a quick stop by to say I LOVE this time of year.  Not only is there some time off, but you get to celebrate with family.  We just put up our tree, and will need to finish decorating tomorrow.  I'll post pics once it's up.

Tried clomid this month, so am in the TWW.  My hopes are up too high.  I'm trying to mentally prepare myself for a temp drop tomorrow.  I refrained from testing, so that's good.

Here's the pic of Sean and Santa!

 

He loved looking at Santa's REAL beard! I wasn't scared, but interested!

Oh, and here's our family photo that we put on our holiday card...and a few others of Sean being cute at BFF Hunter's birthday party at the park:

 

Okay, that's it for now...stay tuned...I hope!  xoxo Yo

 

Picking up the pieces

Hi all,

Well, many of you know, but for those who don't, I miscarried at 9 weeks.  I had a D&C last Friday, so our bean wasn't meant to be.  But, I know I'm 40, so it is very common for this to happen.  Doesn't make it easier, but makes it more understandable.  Good news is that Sean is a very precious distraction, and I love every minute I spend with him.  Plus, we are closing escrow on a house in Torrance soon, so we can't wait for that.  It was delayed by a day, but we expected much worse since we're getting a FHA loan.  We can't wait to get the keys on Thursday.  Did the walk through today, and no real glaring issues, just a few outstanding questions. 

We'll have an office when we move, so I'm hoping it will be easier to sit down to post, but we'll see.  In the meantime, thanks for reading.

Love to you all,
xoxo Yo!

u/s pics and scared

Hi all,

Okay, so it's been a big week, and I haven't been sleeping well, so I'm feeling prettyemotional right now.  Plus, I was really hoping to have seen a wonderful heart beat tonight....

Well, here are the u/s pics of our little bean:

The first is a picure of the fetal pole - hard to see if you don't know what you're looking at, but it's the blog in the middle of the amniotic sac.

The second picture is of the yolk sac which feeds the baby until the umbilical blood vessels take over.  It is the "bubble" looking thing in the amniotic sac.

Yes, I am scared.  Of course, my O date could be several days off, but not likely off by a week.  Hummm, now I'm just working myself up.  I just have to be patient, and know that I am blessed with wonderful family and we're about to move into a dream home for us.  I know if I get some sleep, it will help me get some perspective.

Thanks for listening...any prayers you have would be appreciated.  Or, encouragement...I'm a little down right now.

xoxo Yo

7w1d - Limbo Land

Hi all,

Well had the first u/s, and the bean was too small yet for a heart beat. I go back in 2 weeks for another u/s. There was a yolk sac and a fetal pole, so it's not bad news, but just not as far along as we had hoped. I also had a large cyst in my left ovary, do that was interesting. So, limbo land until 2 weeks from now. Still praying this little bean grows strong!

xoxo Yo!

9-month appt for Sean!!!

Hi all!

Sean finally had his 9 month appt and it went great. He weighed 21 lbs and was 29 1/4 inches tall. That's 80% for height, and 60% for weight. Dr was pleased with his progress. He had to have 3 shots--flu, hep b, and iron finger stick. He was not happy!

Oh, he is such a joyful little boy...pretty excited that he's going to have a house soon!!! Love to you all!

xoxo Yo!

6w4d - big week!

Hi all!

Tues--am house inspection, pm Sean's 9-month appt. He'll probably get shots, including flu and h1n1 if it is available. I'm excited to see how much he's grown! We should know right away about the house, so it is a lot in determining if we go through with it all. I can't believe we're about to buy a house!

Thurs--2pm first OB appt and u/s to confirm for heartbeat. I still don't feel very pg, but have been a little more fatigued lately. This first 12-15 weeks of pregnancy are so stressful! But, completely worth it

Ok, that's it for now...thus is a test of how to post from my phone! Love to you all!!!

xoxo Yo!

Wonderful Tuesdays, and 5w6d

Hi all!

Well, I'm at home with Sean on a Tuesday -- one of my favorite days of the week. I just put him down for a nap, so I hope he goes to sleep soon. He is so funny, he's cruising around, and realizes that he can cruise his crib. Low and behold, he finds "Froggy Friend" within arm's reach. He grabs the sleep cuddle, and after about 5 minutes of wrestling, gets it through the crib slots. He then starts sucking on it like usual, and then lays down on the floor and uses froggy friend as a pillow, just like he does in the crib. Yes, my first clue that he's tired! So, I changed his diaper and gave him a bottle, and now we'll see how fast he falls asleep. We always put him in his crib awake to let him fall asleep on his own. He rarely cries. He plays with his "friends" (he's got horsey friend, froggy friend, and moo-cow friend) and his crib activity center. Once he's done playing, he lies down and falls asleep if all goes well.

Here he is today with Froggy Friend on the floor!

Here he is during his Sunday nap with Froggy Friend.
(Horsey Friend is in the upper left corner!)

Pregnancy - not much to report. I haven't taken a pg test since Tuesday. They're pretty much at the point that they are useless anyway as the test line "steals" all the dye from the control line. Yes, that's good. I have been a little more fatigued. I have my 1 year review on Wednesday, and I think I'll tell them I'm pregnant. I figure they will know at some point anyway no matter what.

DH and I are also having me go on a job search for a new position closer to where our new house will be. There are several positions so far, and I think I'll start calling on them soon. I'd rather start before I'm obviously pregnant, and we're looking to move down there in the next month. Would be nice if I could manage to get myself a raise as well!

That's all to report here.... I love posting because it allows me to get things off my chest. All I can do right now re pregnancy is to Let Go and Let God.

Hugs to you all!

xoxo Yo!

Here are 2 pictures from today, and one from last Sunday at the park. He was just loving the swing!

This morning right after he woke up.
It's our special quiet / holding time together.

Here is the little cruiser dude checking
out Mommy and Daddy's books!

Here is Sean at the park on Sunday
LOVING the swing!

Pregnant - 5w3d

Hi all!

Okay, so I wanted to start getting regular about posting, but I haven't made the time. But, it is good to be back.

Update...I am pregnant. I don't feel pregnant at all, but I have chosen to not worry. God has a plan for me. Yes, I do get emotional, and very occasionally nauseous, but that's about it. For the first time last night, I got up to pee in the middle of the night. First time.

I've also lost 6 lbs in the last 2 weeks. No, I have not been dieting. My hunger level has not been what it is used to. I can't eat as much and get full easily. I had good Hcg # (12 DPO=76 with progesterone at 35, and 14 DPO=245). My first OB visit and ultrasound will be on Oct 1. I am praying for a healthy heartbeat. Grow little one, grow. I know the risks, but the reward is worth every bit of uneasiness.

Here are some pictures:

This is from last night. Yes, the test line is darker than the control line!

And, here is the series of tests I have taken, minus a few that weren't the dip kind:

So, I am celebrating the moment. I am blessed to already have a beautiful child. He and my husband are blessings in life. I'll try to post more often.

Love to all!
xoxo Yo!

9 DPO

Hi All,

Here I am 9 DPO, and definitely NOT feeling pg at all. But, I'm okay with it. I will say, if you click the FF link above, my chart looks a lot like my pg chart with Sean. To me, that doesn't scream out that I am pregnant, but that I definitely ovulated, and am probably not deficient in the progesterone department! So, it appears that my body might be fertile(?)! We'll see. I know testing now makes no sense, although I got my first BFN on this date with him. I think I'll wait until Thursday or Friday to POAS if AF doesn't show up by then. I haven't had a real AF for almost 17 months. I don't really count my last one as it was soooo short and easy.

Here is a fun video of Sean doing the "I want to walk" thing. He's been standing up like this for about 2 weeks, and he many times reaches to the next object to move himself along. He is also now learning how to better lower himself to the ground instead of falling.



Well, we are having a wonderful vacation and still have one more night. John enjoyed his 20-year high school reunion, and was able to see many friends he hadn't seen in years.

Signing off - will be back to post more later!

xoxo Yo!

2WW

Hi all!

It's been a busy few days, but I am going on vacation today through Monday! I worked 10 hours on Monday, 12 on Tuesday, and 12 on Wednesday, so I only have to use 6 hours of vacation for 5 full days. Wonderful. We're going up to my husband's home town for his 20-year high school reunion. It will be nice because we're staying with his parents and Sean just love them. For anyone who is on FB, there is a great shot of his "Nana" with Sean smiling his biggest smile. I just love it!

Well, I am pretty sure I had a good O! So, officially in the 2WW. I got a + OPK test, which, the only other time I got it was when I was on Clomid. Nice temp rise too, so with any luck, my luteal phase is long enough and shows my progesterone isn't low. And, would be nice to use a pg test again! I'm not getting my hopes too high, as this is the first cycle I've had since I was pg with Sean. And, no matter what happens, we are lucky in life and blessed we have our wonderful little guy. DH and I are in amazement of what new trick he's learned every day.

Sorry if this isn't organized well, but I'm doing it quickly before we leave on our trip. I'll try to check back in when I can. If you want to chart stalk me, click the ticker above. Love to you all!

xoxo Yo!
Sean is 7months, 2weeks old! OOH, I need to get another ticker up there for his age!!! Will work on it!

To not obsess

So, since we're TTC again, my biggest worry is to stay calm about it. It is a bit easier then when we were first trying because we have our beautiful baby Sean. What a lucky momma I am. I would love for him to have a sibling though, so wish us luck! I've been charting again, and I think my body is still adjusting to not breastfeeding. My temps are a bit whacko....

Sean is pulling up on things already. Wow, can't even believe it. He only really gets to his knees or a half-kneel, but for 7 months - really??? Well, I walked at 10 months with the aid of my family's Alaskan Malamute. I would hold on to his hair and walk around the house! I wish my parents had gotten a picture of this. Too funny.

I don't want to overwhelm myself by writing too much each blog, so maybe I'll get better about it. Just getting in the habit. Also, it will get me used to our new (just before Sean was born) mac mini. I never really had the time to figure it all out as I was all consumed with figuring out how Sean worked...now that I know better, I have a little more personal time.

Love to all those out there - hope to keep posting again soon! xoxo Yo

Hummm...am I back?

No time. Crazy busy since Sean was born, but I'm not complaining. I just haven't had time to edit or post this blog. Nice - for those of you who followed, I kind of just left you hanging. Sorry.

Sean Patrick was born on 12/28/08. I'll post his birth story in another post. For now, just have to say, he is the most amazing thing that's ever happened in my life. I am so lucky. I have a wonderful, loving husband, an amazing baby boy, and I love my job as a physical therapist. Lucky in life.

That's it for now. Yes, we're trying again. We'll see how it goes, but no matter what, even if I'm not able to have any more children, I feel super blessed with my life.

Love to you all!

xoxo Yo

41 weeks - yikes

Hi all!

Have to update you from my last appt, and going into our next appt as I'm not sure I'll be able to post after that...hoping we are busy holding, caring for and loving our little son by then! Sorry for the long post....

My dr appt on Wednesday (12/24) was really uneventful. They do a BPP (biophysical profile) at each visit after 40 weeks, so this was the 2nd time they did it. This test includes fetal monitoring for about 20 minutes, and u/s (amniotic fluid check, heart check, and breathing practicing check) and cervix check. Little guy is strong and good, had nice heart activity and good practice breathing. I have a lot of amniotic fluid. Cervix was unchanged from last visit...bummer. He did say my next appt was Sat and that they don't usually let mothers go past 41 weeks, because "nothing good happens after 41 weeks." So, I will most likely be induced on Saturday if I don't go into labor on my own. He said if they tried to induce me today, he felt it would take at least 2 days of labor and they are really hoping my body does it on it's own. Suggested that sex was the only thing that might help now....(insert devil emoticon here!). As you know, he isn't my favorite dr, but he was fine for this appt and was good at explaining things, so that was comforting. The good news is that MY dr is on call on 12/25-26, and my 2nd favorite dr is on call on 12/27! I sooooo hope I go into labor between now and then. But, if I don't get my favorite drs, it will be okay!

So fast forward to today...41 weeks. I never in a million years thought I would be a week overdue. This was never in my plan...welcome to the life of having children...rarely do things go as planned, and this little guy is already controlling things! The good news is that I started having very light, regular contractions yesterday evening at about 7:45pm. (NOTHING at all like this since the previous Thurs and Fri!) They were pretty much non-painful about 7-10 minutes apart all night that lasted 30-60 seconds each. (Timed them on my iPhone with a cool contraction program!) I stopped timing them this am since they weren't changing, but was more excited that maybe some progress was being made. I only noticed them initially when (TMI alert) I was lying down resting and felt some pressure in my bum area that was cyclical. Not much change since then, but at least it's something more than NOTHING! I still see the dr tomorrow morning, and I think they're going to induce me at that point. I started drinking red raspberry leaf tea, so I wondering if that's helping. I'm also tempted to go to this place near my office that boasts the "labor" salad - women go there to have the dressing or something to induce labor. I'm not a huge believer in that, but, yikes, something has to happen soon, right??? I must say, after my 12am-2am awake period when I was timing, it was hard to go back to sleep because I was getting so excited that this might actually happen. (Yes, I know it will happen eventually, but am still nervous for induction and possible c-section, but always remember all that matters is healthy baby, healthy mom!)

So, that's my update. I'm feeling pretty hopeful now, and it's nice to at least see an end in sight. I have learned so much about myself these last few weeks of pregnancy, and I know I would go through anything to have this healthy baby resting in my arms...what a blessing that will be.

Happy holidays to everyone - thanks for sharing my journey with me!

xoxo Yo