Yay! We still know there are many MAJOR milestones to pass, but we're just celebrating the moment now.
xoxo Yo!
Another ride on the roller coaster!
Sean Patrick - born 12/28/08
Thursday, April 10, 2008
The Digital - 4w0d
Hi all - this will be short as well, but wanted to let you all know what the digital said...
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
CD23 ~12DPO - Miracle
Wow...it's been a full year since I've had a BFP. And, tonight, on only 2 hours of urine, I got a BFP. I'm still very cautious with my excitement, but wow...I just can't believe it. I must thank everyone for their thoughts and prayers - THEY WORKED!!! Special thanks to Monty - she said and wrote some amazing prayers that brought tears to my eyes. Especially since she's going through such a hard time right now...and still being so giving to other people. Truly someone to model your life after.
Well, I'm going to keep this short...I've had 2 losses and who knows if this will be a sticky bean or not, but I will pray every night for it to be blessed. This is truly a miracle.
Well, I'm going to keep this short...I've had 2 losses and who knows if this will be a sticky bean or not, but I will pray every night for it to be blessed. This is truly a miracle.
Monday, April 7, 2008
CD 21 ~10DPO - still a little hormonal
Hi everyone!
Well, I think the hormones are being controlled a bit better, now I just feel a bit weepy. Actually, it's nice that I have school/internships because then I don't wallow in my own hormonal thoughts! I think that makes things TONS better. When I'm hormonal, I tend to think too much and can really work myself up. Not good! ;-)
Went in for my CD 21 blood test to check progesterone. I'll call the doc on Wednesday to find out what the results were. I did test and BFN yesterday and today. I'm a bit embarrassed to admit to testing so early...but there you have it. I did it. 9 and 10 DPO - what did I expect? I wasn't surprised at all with the result and it didn't affect my mood at all, so that's good.
One good thing is that my CM has been amazing for the 2nd half of my cycle. It's been more plentiful than ever before, so maybe that means my progesterone level is better. (I read somewhere that progesterone affects that, but I don't know for sure.) All I know is that this cycle is a bit different than previous ones, so I'm hoping it means my body is normalizing. Several people have said that BFPs tend to come on the 2nd cycle of clomid--not that I'm completely giving up this cycle--but keeping that knowledge in my back pocket to hope for the future if this cycle doesn't end up with my miracle.
I must say thanks to everyone who is wishing me well - it helps so much to know that you have support. No matter what happens, the journey IS the reward. You learn to appreciate the little things by learning to love your life. I truly love my life and all the wonderful opportunities I have been blessed with.
xoxo Yo!
Well, I think the hormones are being controlled a bit better, now I just feel a bit weepy. Actually, it's nice that I have school/internships because then I don't wallow in my own hormonal thoughts! I think that makes things TONS better. When I'm hormonal, I tend to think too much and can really work myself up. Not good! ;-)
Went in for my CD 21 blood test to check progesterone. I'll call the doc on Wednesday to find out what the results were. I did test and BFN yesterday and today. I'm a bit embarrassed to admit to testing so early...but there you have it. I did it. 9 and 10 DPO - what did I expect? I wasn't surprised at all with the result and it didn't affect my mood at all, so that's good.
One good thing is that my CM has been amazing for the 2nd half of my cycle. It's been more plentiful than ever before, so maybe that means my progesterone level is better. (I read somewhere that progesterone affects that, but I don't know for sure.) All I know is that this cycle is a bit different than previous ones, so I'm hoping it means my body is normalizing. Several people have said that BFPs tend to come on the 2nd cycle of clomid--not that I'm completely giving up this cycle--but keeping that knowledge in my back pocket to hope for the future if this cycle doesn't end up with my miracle.
I must say thanks to everyone who is wishing me well - it helps so much to know that you have support. No matter what happens, the journey IS the reward. You learn to appreciate the little things by learning to love your life. I truly love my life and all the wonderful opportunities I have been blessed with.
xoxo Yo!
Sunday, April 6, 2008
CD 20 - ~9DPO - total breakdown...
Hi all!
So, I'm feeling pretty good right now, but boy, if you could have heard me this morning! As I mentioned last night, I was feeling a bit hormonal and was having trouble communicating because the words just wouldn't come off my tongue. Well, this AM, it kicked into full gear.
So I ended up at the Venice beach pier where I paid $7 to park. I was supposed to meet my family at the Pier at 11am and it was about 11:1oam. So I called (hoping they were running a tiny bit late so I could go get a coffee bean ice blended), and they had just barely left and had totally changed the plans and were now going out to breakfast in another area first. WHAT??? I had just driven there...alone...paid $7 to park...and now they weren't going to show up for at least 3 hours. I had a fit. I started bawling. I totally let my brother have it. So, I guess because it's family I took it a bit too personally, but couldn't get over it. They invited me to come to breakfast, but I declined because I KNEW I was NOT good company at that moment. I went home, DH was getting read for his choral rehearsal (which is why he wasn't with me). Told him the story, started bawling again. He just gave me a hug. It solved everything in the world. He didn't say much, but that little bit of love was just what I needed.
It all worked out in the end, my family came to pick me up at about 2pm, and we went to Venice beach. It was good fun - we flew kites, buried my little brother and sister in the sand, walked to see all the street performers. DH then met us for dinner and it turned out to be a LOVELY day. With hindsight, I know it was the hormones that were turning me into a blubbering idiot. I think I'm still feeling a bit "weepy," but now that I know it's the hormones, I can understand it better. I guess this may be still a bit of the clomid stuff going on because I'm not usually like this until the end of my cycle.
I go in for my progesterone blood test tomorrow, so I'll keep everyone posted once I hear. Thanks for reading tonight...it really helps to get this off my chest and kind of look at it from an outsider's point of view. Love to everyone.
xoxo Yo!
So, I'm feeling pretty good right now, but boy, if you could have heard me this morning! As I mentioned last night, I was feeling a bit hormonal and was having trouble communicating because the words just wouldn't come off my tongue. Well, this AM, it kicked into full gear.
So I ended up at the Venice beach pier where I paid $7 to park. I was supposed to meet my family at the Pier at 11am and it was about 11:1oam. So I called (hoping they were running a tiny bit late so I could go get a coffee bean ice blended), and they had just barely left and had totally changed the plans and were now going out to breakfast in another area first. WHAT??? I had just driven there...alone...paid $7 to park...and now they weren't going to show up for at least 3 hours. I had a fit. I started bawling. I totally let my brother have it. So, I guess because it's family I took it a bit too personally, but couldn't get over it. They invited me to come to breakfast, but I declined because I KNEW I was NOT good company at that moment. I went home, DH was getting read for his choral rehearsal (which is why he wasn't with me). Told him the story, started bawling again. He just gave me a hug. It solved everything in the world. He didn't say much, but that little bit of love was just what I needed.
It all worked out in the end, my family came to pick me up at about 2pm, and we went to Venice beach. It was good fun - we flew kites, buried my little brother and sister in the sand, walked to see all the street performers. DH then met us for dinner and it turned out to be a LOVELY day. With hindsight, I know it was the hormones that were turning me into a blubbering idiot. I think I'm still feeling a bit "weepy," but now that I know it's the hormones, I can understand it better. I guess this may be still a bit of the clomid stuff going on because I'm not usually like this until the end of my cycle.
I go in for my progesterone blood test tomorrow, so I'll keep everyone posted once I hear. Thanks for reading tonight...it really helps to get this off my chest and kind of look at it from an outsider's point of view. Love to everyone.
xoxo Yo!
Saturday, April 5, 2008
CD 19 - ?8DPO - Little Hormonal
Hi all!
Well, I continue to feel really nothing that even remotely resembles how I feel when I'm PG. But, I am a little more hormonal than usual. It's funny, but sometimes I know my hormones are a little "off" because I have trouble formulating words to my mouth. I can think of what I want to say, but it just doesn't roll off like usual. I feel like I put my foot in my mouth more than ever and basically feel awkward. I usually happens in the second hald of my cycle. At times like these, I basically just try to keep my mouth shut!
My family is in town, and it's really nice. I'll get to see them tomorrow during the day, but then won't see them during the week because I have my clinical internship this week. They leave on Thurday early am. Bummer!
I think DH and I might ask the dr to do IUI next cycle. She suggested we try for two cycles with clomid on our own, but we're kind of feeling like why waste the clomid cycles when BDing on our own hasn't produced anything for a year now. :-( We'll see what she says. I'm also going to ask her about other drugs that might help.
Thats it for now. Hugs out to Monty going through chemo. I hope she's doing okay. She's in my prayers all the time for a quick recovery.
xoxo Yo!
PS - my UCLA Bruins lost...but at least UNC lost as well. Bummer...I was hoping this was our golden year, but it wasn't meant to be.
Well, I continue to feel really nothing that even remotely resembles how I feel when I'm PG. But, I am a little more hormonal than usual. It's funny, but sometimes I know my hormones are a little "off" because I have trouble formulating words to my mouth. I can think of what I want to say, but it just doesn't roll off like usual. I feel like I put my foot in my mouth more than ever and basically feel awkward. I usually happens in the second hald of my cycle. At times like these, I basically just try to keep my mouth shut!
My family is in town, and it's really nice. I'll get to see them tomorrow during the day, but then won't see them during the week because I have my clinical internship this week. They leave on Thurday early am. Bummer!
I think DH and I might ask the dr to do IUI next cycle. She suggested we try for two cycles with clomid on our own, but we're kind of feeling like why waste the clomid cycles when BDing on our own hasn't produced anything for a year now. :-( We'll see what she says. I'm also going to ask her about other drugs that might help.
Thats it for now. Hugs out to Monty going through chemo. I hope she's doing okay. She's in my prayers all the time for a quick recovery.
xoxo Yo!
PS - my UCLA Bruins lost...but at least UNC lost as well. Bummer...I was hoping this was our golden year, but it wasn't meant to be.
CD19 - 8?DPO - Not Feeling Anything
Hi Everone!
The two other times that I've tested postive, I actually had a reason to test. I was feeling a very different type of cramping that happened about 5 days before AF was due. AF typically came around CD 28, so that meant I felt it on CD 23. I wasn't keeping good records at that time, so I don't know when I O'd or when I actually started the "crampy" feeling. The other thing that happened, was I had to pee all the time. Most importantly, I had to pee in the middle of the night. In fact, I always took my PG tests at about 3am because that was as close to FMU that I could get both positives I got.
So this month, after feeling so hopeful taking clomid, I sit here around 8 DPO feeling nothing and feeling like my temps aren't that great. Even at 7am today, my temp was 98.03...which means it would have been down around 97.78 if I had taken my temp at 5:45am like usual. That's very near my cover line. I guess it would be an implantation dip, but who am I kidding but myself. I just don't think it happened this month.
On Monday, I go in for my CD21 progesterone blood test. The dr could care less when I O...but I think the test is supposed to take place 7DPO, so instead it will be 10DPO. I'm taking supplemental progesterone as well during the second half of my cycle, but I'm guessing it's going to be low...maybe that will lead to her taking more action regarding medical stimulation. I'm going to ask about Follistim, which I think can help make follicles bigger. I am super luck in life and have so much to be happy about. I may have had a little stall in my TTC attempts, but I will not let it get me down.
My Dad, his wife, and my twin brother and sister will be here this weekend, so that's super exciting. The twins are 10 years old and are such great kids. Unfortunately, I'll only get to see them today and tomorrow because I'll be doing my pediatric clinical internship the next week and can't take time off. I was worried about the weather for them, but the sun has just poked her head out instead of the morning drizzle that was forecasted. I hope we have some great sun for them this week!
Love goes out to Monty with the start of her chemo after her molar pregnancy. She is a strong woman and will WIN this fight with cancer. My prayers go out to her. I can't imagine how hard it would be to go through what she is going through. And, her attitude is AMAZING.
Love to everyone else. Hope you all have a GREAT weekend.
xoxo Yo!
PS - as always, shout out to my UCLA Bruin basketball team. They play at 3pm Pacific time today in the first final four game. It would be wonderful if they won - at this point in the tournament, it takes a lot of luck joining forces with all the hard work they've done over the season. GO BRUINS!!!
The two other times that I've tested postive, I actually had a reason to test. I was feeling a very different type of cramping that happened about 5 days before AF was due. AF typically came around CD 28, so that meant I felt it on CD 23. I wasn't keeping good records at that time, so I don't know when I O'd or when I actually started the "crampy" feeling. The other thing that happened, was I had to pee all the time. Most importantly, I had to pee in the middle of the night. In fact, I always took my PG tests at about 3am because that was as close to FMU that I could get both positives I got.
So this month, after feeling so hopeful taking clomid, I sit here around 8 DPO feeling nothing and feeling like my temps aren't that great. Even at 7am today, my temp was 98.03...which means it would have been down around 97.78 if I had taken my temp at 5:45am like usual. That's very near my cover line. I guess it would be an implantation dip, but who am I kidding but myself. I just don't think it happened this month.
On Monday, I go in for my CD21 progesterone blood test. The dr could care less when I O...but I think the test is supposed to take place 7DPO, so instead it will be 10DPO. I'm taking supplemental progesterone as well during the second half of my cycle, but I'm guessing it's going to be low...maybe that will lead to her taking more action regarding medical stimulation. I'm going to ask about Follistim, which I think can help make follicles bigger. I am super luck in life and have so much to be happy about. I may have had a little stall in my TTC attempts, but I will not let it get me down.
My Dad, his wife, and my twin brother and sister will be here this weekend, so that's super exciting. The twins are 10 years old and are such great kids. Unfortunately, I'll only get to see them today and tomorrow because I'll be doing my pediatric clinical internship the next week and can't take time off. I was worried about the weather for them, but the sun has just poked her head out instead of the morning drizzle that was forecasted. I hope we have some great sun for them this week!
Love goes out to Monty with the start of her chemo after her molar pregnancy. She is a strong woman and will WIN this fight with cancer. My prayers go out to her. I can't imagine how hard it would be to go through what she is going through. And, her attitude is AMAZING.
Love to everyone else. Hope you all have a GREAT weekend.
xoxo Yo!
PS - as always, shout out to my UCLA Bruin basketball team. They play at 3pm Pacific time today in the first final four game. It would be wonderful if they won - at this point in the tournament, it takes a lot of luck joining forces with all the hard work they've done over the season. GO BRUINS!!!
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
CD 16, ~5DPO and the BEST (worst?) PG test ever...
Hi all
There was this super cool PG test that circulated the message boards recently. It was a USB-based PG test. It not only gave you PG results, but also OPK results. It showed screen-shots of a computer progam that would give you hormone levels based on spectometry, it told you if you were PG AND if you were PG with multiples. I should have guessed right away, but when I tried to buy it...April Fools joke. It did make me laugh a bunch, but I bought it hook-line-and-sinker. I showed it to DH and he got mad about it. Then he said, why doesn't someone make something like that and if not, why tease people like that? If only that were possible for something like that to exist. I'm sure the American Medical Assoc would have something to say.
Well, sitting here around 4-5 DPO and am still sick with a cold. My voice is coming back today, but I'm super fatigued all afternoon. I haven't been sleeping that great due to my cough, so I'm really needing some quality sleep. DH offered to say home to take care of me today - so super sweet of him. I'd rather save that quality treatment for when I have a little one.
One more month exactly until my masters program in physical therapy gives us our culminating comprehensive exams, and boy, I better get my study on. I have a lot to learn/re-learn in a month. It's hard to motivate though when you're sick!
Clomid effects aren't really there at all anymore, except maybe the headaches. But, that could be related to the sickness, so I can't really blame clomid. I hope this month is our month. It would be a real blessing from God if it happened. Wish us luck!
xoxo Yo!
PS - please wish my UCLA Bruin basketball team GREAT luck in the Final Four! I'm so proud of them making it this far. GO BRUINS!
There was this super cool PG test that circulated the message boards recently. It was a USB-based PG test. It not only gave you PG results, but also OPK results. It showed screen-shots of a computer progam that would give you hormone levels based on spectometry, it told you if you were PG AND if you were PG with multiples. I should have guessed right away, but when I tried to buy it...April Fools joke. It did make me laugh a bunch, but I bought it hook-line-and-sinker. I showed it to DH and he got mad about it. Then he said, why doesn't someone make something like that and if not, why tease people like that? If only that were possible for something like that to exist. I'm sure the American Medical Assoc would have something to say.
Well, sitting here around 4-5 DPO and am still sick with a cold. My voice is coming back today, but I'm super fatigued all afternoon. I haven't been sleeping that great due to my cough, so I'm really needing some quality sleep. DH offered to say home to take care of me today - so super sweet of him. I'd rather save that quality treatment for when I have a little one.
One more month exactly until my masters program in physical therapy gives us our culminating comprehensive exams, and boy, I better get my study on. I have a lot to learn/re-learn in a month. It's hard to motivate though when you're sick!
Clomid effects aren't really there at all anymore, except maybe the headaches. But, that could be related to the sickness, so I can't really blame clomid. I hope this month is our month. It would be a real blessing from God if it happened. Wish us luck!
xoxo Yo!
PS - please wish my UCLA Bruin basketball team GREAT luck in the Final Four! I'm so proud of them making it this far. GO BRUINS!
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Catching Up and the TWW
Hi all - thanks for checking in!
Sorry I haven't posted lately, but it was a holiday weekend so we were busy and I ended up getting sick. :-( Okay, to catch things up a bit....
Well, first of all some GREAT news: I got a strong positive OPK test on Saturday at 9am. I was thrilled as it wasn't looking good the day before. The test lines on Friday were almost invisible. I feared that I wasn't going to have a surge at all. But, much to my delight, it was positive on Saturday. Unfortunately, my temperatures were all off. On Friday I was up and down all night and didn't get more than two hours of sleep at a time. (If only I were in training for an infant!) I don't know what it was, but sleep eluded me almost completely. This made my temps pretty high on Saturday. BUT, on Saturday night I had the most intense O pains I've ever felt. They weren't unbearable and not too bad, just surprising. So, I really think I O'd on Saturday night, but FF is putting it on Friday due to my lack of CM and temps on Friday. Something I have to keep in mind as I near the end of my LP. We'll see...maybe my LP will be 9 months!!! The good thing is that DH and I BD'd all the way through the weekend, so hopefully we caught our eggie.
One thing I am tickeled pink about is that my best friend found out she is PG again!!! I suggested she test last week, and she got her first positive on Thursday. She has a m/c in December, so I really hope she has a healthy bean this time. I'm sending her all the BEST pg vibes EVER!!! I so hope we can be PG together - would be a dream come true. I must say that it made it so much easier to be super excited for her because I've been a part of the whole process with her. I think it's harder on me when I hear someone is PG unexpectedly. That's when I get that yucky jealous feeling that makes me feel horrible about.
The other thing that happened this weekend is that I got sick. I haven't been able to speak normally since Saturday, ugh! I think it's just a virus, but still frustrating nonetheless. That's the other thing that happened on Saturday...the Mucinex (that was helping me get the only CM I was getting) was upsetting my stomach and I was having horrible acid reflux problems so I had to stop taking it. In hindsight too, I think the clomid really upset my stomach as well. When I get acid reflux, I usually don't know it until it's quite bad. In any case, I might have just use robi instead of Mucinex next clomid cycle...we'll see.
Other than that, I'm doing great. Doing a bit of lurking on the FF "waiting to test" message board, but probably won't post there...I like posting with my BBC girls to keep my sanity.
One quick word about a BBC friend - please send Monty your thoughts and prayers that she doesn't have to go through chemo after her molar pregnancy. She just received some bad news about her Beta numbers and really needs our prayers right now. Thanks to everyone.
Lastly, about clomid effects. I can't say I'm feeling anything else at this point, so I guess that's good. Other than my cold, I'm feeling quite good. That's all for tonight - love to everyone!
xoxo Yo!
Sorry I haven't posted lately, but it was a holiday weekend so we were busy and I ended up getting sick. :-( Okay, to catch things up a bit....
Well, first of all some GREAT news: I got a strong positive OPK test on Saturday at 9am. I was thrilled as it wasn't looking good the day before. The test lines on Friday were almost invisible. I feared that I wasn't going to have a surge at all. But, much to my delight, it was positive on Saturday. Unfortunately, my temperatures were all off. On Friday I was up and down all night and didn't get more than two hours of sleep at a time. (If only I were in training for an infant!) I don't know what it was, but sleep eluded me almost completely. This made my temps pretty high on Saturday. BUT, on Saturday night I had the most intense O pains I've ever felt. They weren't unbearable and not too bad, just surprising. So, I really think I O'd on Saturday night, but FF is putting it on Friday due to my lack of CM and temps on Friday. Something I have to keep in mind as I near the end of my LP. We'll see...maybe my LP will be 9 months!!! The good thing is that DH and I BD'd all the way through the weekend, so hopefully we caught our eggie.
One thing I am tickeled pink about is that my best friend found out she is PG again!!! I suggested she test last week, and she got her first positive on Thursday. She has a m/c in December, so I really hope she has a healthy bean this time. I'm sending her all the BEST pg vibes EVER!!! I so hope we can be PG together - would be a dream come true. I must say that it made it so much easier to be super excited for her because I've been a part of the whole process with her. I think it's harder on me when I hear someone is PG unexpectedly. That's when I get that yucky jealous feeling that makes me feel horrible about.
The other thing that happened this weekend is that I got sick. I haven't been able to speak normally since Saturday, ugh! I think it's just a virus, but still frustrating nonetheless. That's the other thing that happened on Saturday...the Mucinex (that was helping me get the only CM I was getting) was upsetting my stomach and I was having horrible acid reflux problems so I had to stop taking it. In hindsight too, I think the clomid really upset my stomach as well. When I get acid reflux, I usually don't know it until it's quite bad. In any case, I might have just use robi instead of Mucinex next clomid cycle...we'll see.
Other than that, I'm doing great. Doing a bit of lurking on the FF "waiting to test" message board, but probably won't post there...I like posting with my BBC girls to keep my sanity.
One quick word about a BBC friend - please send Monty your thoughts and prayers that she doesn't have to go through chemo after her molar pregnancy. She just received some bad news about her Beta numbers and really needs our prayers right now. Thanks to everyone.
Lastly, about clomid effects. I can't say I'm feeling anything else at this point, so I guess that's good. Other than my cold, I'm feeling quite good. That's all for tonight - love to everyone!
xoxo Yo!
Thursday, March 27, 2008
CD 10 - EWCM!!!
Hi Everyone!
Well, lots to report on today. But, I could just squeel tonight - actually saw some EWCM!!! Makes me soooo happy! I've felt very dry lately, so this is a welcome change. Oh, and some other great news - my best friend, who had a m/c in December, got her BFP today!!! I am sooo excited for her. I was the one who told her to test and she texted me this am with the news.
Okay, now to step back 24 hours. Last night I DEFINITELY had a hot flash. I was sitting with DH and I just started sweating. I mentioned it to DH and he said, "oh, I read that might happen...along with raging hormones." It was too funny. He said he hadn't noticed the hormones yet! This am started a new bag of OPKs and got NO line. That bummed me out a bit, but he monitor still says "high". We'll see - just keep BDing until O happens. Another thing that happend was VIVID dreams. Again, I don't remember what it was about, but knew I had to comment on it this am. Lastly, I did have a headache again this morning and it's still around, but not enough to take Tylenol. I think I'll still mark it in FF though.
I think that's it for me tonight. I'll keep y'all posted on my progress as it happens. Oh, I pray soooo hard that this leads to our BFP...that would just be a wonderful miracle.
OOOHHH - my UCLA BRUINS just made to the GREAT 8! Yay! Go Bruins!
xoxo Yo!
Well, lots to report on today. But, I could just squeel tonight - actually saw some EWCM!!! Makes me soooo happy! I've felt very dry lately, so this is a welcome change. Oh, and some other great news - my best friend, who had a m/c in December, got her BFP today!!! I am sooo excited for her. I was the one who told her to test and she texted me this am with the news.
Okay, now to step back 24 hours. Last night I DEFINITELY had a hot flash. I was sitting with DH and I just started sweating. I mentioned it to DH and he said, "oh, I read that might happen...along with raging hormones." It was too funny. He said he hadn't noticed the hormones yet! This am started a new bag of OPKs and got NO line. That bummed me out a bit, but he monitor still says "high". We'll see - just keep BDing until O happens. Another thing that happend was VIVID dreams. Again, I don't remember what it was about, but knew I had to comment on it this am. Lastly, I did have a headache again this morning and it's still around, but not enough to take Tylenol. I think I'll still mark it in FF though.
I think that's it for me tonight. I'll keep y'all posted on my progress as it happens. Oh, I pray soooo hard that this leads to our BFP...that would just be a wonderful miracle.
OOOHHH - my UCLA BRUINS just made to the GREAT 8! Yay! Go Bruins!
xoxo Yo!
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
CD 9 - Is waiting to O harder than the TWW?
Hi all!
I had to steel this expression from Jen, because I think she's right! At least when you're on clomid.... I guess it's because you have to be so responsible about everything: taking Mucinex, taking clomid, BDing at the right time, taking OPK tests, looking for CM, etc. I guess you can call it the "active" part of your cycle. The TWW is then just waiting around for something to happen and you really can't do ANYTHING during that phase but keep yourself busy doing other things and taking care of your body. That's it!
I think my headache finally went away about 30 minutes ago. I went on a 4 mile run (run/walk I should say), but it felt good to get out and exercise. I had to mark in FF that I had a headache, even though it was mild, because I took tylenol for it. I figure if it's bad enough to take meds, its bad enough to record. It was just really wearing on me - kind of that constant nagging. But, I feel like the cloud has lifted and I'm actually feeling quite good right now!
Well, so far I have a "high" on my fertility monitor, but have had no + OPK test yet. CM is really poor quality this month even though I'm taking Mucinex. I marked "watery" because that's what it was, but it was really scant at best. I think I'll really have to rely on preseed to help me out - but I'm trying to save it for closer to when I O because I only have a few left!
Hope everyone else is doing great! xoxo Yo!
I had to steel this expression from Jen, because I think she's right! At least when you're on clomid.... I guess it's because you have to be so responsible about everything: taking Mucinex, taking clomid, BDing at the right time, taking OPK tests, looking for CM, etc. I guess you can call it the "active" part of your cycle. The TWW is then just waiting around for something to happen and you really can't do ANYTHING during that phase but keep yourself busy doing other things and taking care of your body. That's it!
I think my headache finally went away about 30 minutes ago. I went on a 4 mile run (run/walk I should say), but it felt good to get out and exercise. I had to mark in FF that I had a headache, even though it was mild, because I took tylenol for it. I figure if it's bad enough to take meds, its bad enough to record. It was just really wearing on me - kind of that constant nagging. But, I feel like the cloud has lifted and I'm actually feeling quite good right now!
Well, so far I have a "high" on my fertility monitor, but have had no + OPK test yet. CM is really poor quality this month even though I'm taking Mucinex. I marked "watery" because that's what it was, but it was really scant at best. I think I'll really have to rely on preseed to help me out - but I'm trying to save it for closer to when I O because I only have a few left!
Hope everyone else is doing great! xoxo Yo!
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
CD 8...waiting to O!
Hi everyone!
Well, officially finished with the clomid and now it's time to get the BD on! Yes, DH and I have already started, so we're doing our part. Helps that "our part" is so much fun! DH is so cute - I can't wait to tell my baby, "I loved you before you were a twinkle in your Daddy's eyes!"
As far as side effects, I still have a very mild headache, but not enough to list in FF as I only notice it when I'm thinking about it. I am also feeling a bit tired and achy, and I'm having some interesting pressure in my ovary area. I read a post on FF from someone who took clomid also that gave a perfect description, so I'll use it. I'm feeling like I have gas, but I feel it right in the area of my ovaries. Not something I feel I could document on FF, just interesting. Like I said earlier, maybe it's my little ovaries making follies in overtime! I like that thought!
Fertility monitor lists me as "high" but no positive OPK yet. I am very curious as to when I'll ovulate this month, because I know with clomid that sometimes it can happen later on in the cycle. I'll keep you all posted! That's all for now. Time to get my study on...lots to learn before I graduate!
xoxo Yo!
Well, officially finished with the clomid and now it's time to get the BD on! Yes, DH and I have already started, so we're doing our part. Helps that "our part" is so much fun! DH is so cute - I can't wait to tell my baby, "I loved you before you were a twinkle in your Daddy's eyes!"
As far as side effects, I still have a very mild headache, but not enough to list in FF as I only notice it when I'm thinking about it. I am also feeling a bit tired and achy, and I'm having some interesting pressure in my ovary area. I read a post on FF from someone who took clomid also that gave a perfect description, so I'll use it. I'm feeling like I have gas, but I feel it right in the area of my ovaries. Not something I feel I could document on FF, just interesting. Like I said earlier, maybe it's my little ovaries making follies in overtime! I like that thought!
Fertility monitor lists me as "high" but no positive OPK yet. I am very curious as to when I'll ovulate this month, because I know with clomid that sometimes it can happen later on in the cycle. I'll keep you all posted! That's all for now. Time to get my study on...lots to learn before I graduate!
xoxo Yo!
Monday, March 24, 2008
Clomid Round One - 5th and Final Day
Hi all,
I take may last pill tonight. Wow, these past 5 days have gone quickly. My only real side effect today was a mild headache all day and a tiny, tiny bit of moodiness. But, it really wasn't all that bad to be honest. I do wonder, however, what the remaining days will bring because the whole point of taking clomid in the beginning of your cycle is to alter your hormones to stimulate better ovulation. In any case, I'll keep posting here as I see the need to share my experiences. One good thing to report is that DH and I have started BDing again, and seems like the Mucinex is helping! Yay!
My fertility monitor gave me a high today, but I think it might have been a weird test. OPK was definitely negative. I am keeping them to compare them so I can see the change in the lines this month. I'll take serial OPKs as I get closer to have a better idea of when my LH surge happens. I never really get a super dark line, never darker than the control, so I hope that changes this cycle. We'll see though!
That's it for tonight. Lots of love going out there to my BBC and lurker friends.
To steal a wonderful idea from JenMonty:
"I have a reason to smile today because...I have a loving husband who shares this amazing journey of life with me."
xoxo Yo!
I take may last pill tonight. Wow, these past 5 days have gone quickly. My only real side effect today was a mild headache all day and a tiny, tiny bit of moodiness. But, it really wasn't all that bad to be honest. I do wonder, however, what the remaining days will bring because the whole point of taking clomid in the beginning of your cycle is to alter your hormones to stimulate better ovulation. In any case, I'll keep posting here as I see the need to share my experiences. One good thing to report is that DH and I have started BDing again, and seems like the Mucinex is helping! Yay!
My fertility monitor gave me a high today, but I think it might have been a weird test. OPK was definitely negative. I am keeping them to compare them so I can see the change in the lines this month. I'll take serial OPKs as I get closer to have a better idea of when my LH surge happens. I never really get a super dark line, never darker than the control, so I hope that changes this cycle. We'll see though!
That's it for tonight. Lots of love going out there to my BBC and lurker friends.
To steal a wonderful idea from JenMonty:
"I have a reason to smile today because...I have a loving husband who shares this amazing journey of life with me."
xoxo Yo!
Sunday, March 23, 2008
4th Clomid Pill Tonight
Hi all!
Well, I think I spoke too soon about no side effects. Today I felt a little emotional and moody, and tonight I'm feeling a bit nauseous. DH and I talked about BDing tonight, but we'll see. Maybe I'll take some antacids to see if that helps. Also, wondering if anyone else got heartburn while taking clomid. It's always been a problem for me in general, but I'm now realizing that it started again a day or two ago, so maybe it's related.
The other side effects that I'm "blaming" on clomid, was a headache and a little a fatigued. I've been very careful the past couple of days to get tons of sleep, so I can't really blame it on anything else. I took a 30 minute nap, and that seemed to help, but I still feel a little off and fatigued.
Oh, and I think I'm feeling my ovaries doing stuff...don't know what exactly, but feel a slight "pressure" in that area...hopefully, they're making some nice follies for this cycle!
All-in-all though, not too bad - I think my description above probably sounds worse than it really is, and I'm not complaining, just reporting. If I get my BFP out of this, I'll jump up and down for joy!
Thanks for reading - hope it help anyone who is interested!
xoxo Yo!
Well, I think I spoke too soon about no side effects. Today I felt a little emotional and moody, and tonight I'm feeling a bit nauseous. DH and I talked about BDing tonight, but we'll see. Maybe I'll take some antacids to see if that helps. Also, wondering if anyone else got heartburn while taking clomid. It's always been a problem for me in general, but I'm now realizing that it started again a day or two ago, so maybe it's related.
The other side effects that I'm "blaming" on clomid, was a headache and a little a fatigued. I've been very careful the past couple of days to get tons of sleep, so I can't really blame it on anything else. I took a 30 minute nap, and that seemed to help, but I still feel a little off and fatigued.
Oh, and I think I'm feeling my ovaries doing stuff...don't know what exactly, but feel a slight "pressure" in that area...hopefully, they're making some nice follies for this cycle!
All-in-all though, not too bad - I think my description above probably sounds worse than it really is, and I'm not complaining, just reporting. If I get my BFP out of this, I'll jump up and down for joy!
Thanks for reading - hope it help anyone who is interested!
xoxo Yo!
What Nobody Told You About TTC
Hi all - I read this on a myspace group that I lurk occasionally and thought I'd share it with you all. I thought some of these were spot on, and some that others could probably relate to. I deleted some because I didn't feel like they were in the right spirit of my TTC journey on this blog. I tend to be an optimist and some were a bit negative. Hope you all enjoy this!
"What nobody told you about trying to conceive." (Edited)
"What nobody told you about trying to conceive." (Edited)
- That unprotected sex doesn’t necessarily lead to pregnancy.
- That your sex life would start to resemble a science experiment.
- That you would see your OBGYN/RE more often than your DH at O time.
- That the longer you TTC, the more PG women spring up around you.
- That one day you wouldn’t mind checking your CM or CP to see if it is your fertile period.
- That I should have gone to medical school like my mom wanted, because I’ve had to do so much medical research by now just to figure out what was wrong with me, I might as well be an M.D.
- That I would know more about the female reproductive system and menstrual cycle than most of the doctors I go to.
- That living your life in 2 week increments would be the norm.
- That you never knew how much you wanted to see those 2 pink lines......until only one shows up every month.
- That simply relaxing will NOT get you pregnant. (your dh has to do some work too)
- That you have no control over some of the goals you set....
- That wishing really hard for something doesn’t make it happen, and staring at your chart doesn’t make it change!
- That a pregnancy doesn’t always equal a baby.
- That miscarriage is so common.
- That I would wish we had started TTC earlier.
- That my friends’ pregnancies would start to make me sad instead of happy.
- That I wasted ALOT of money on birth control pills!!
- That it would help bring a group of wonderful, caring, funny, empathetic women together like this.
- That I’d EVER be willing to stab myself in the stomach or @ss every day in the hopes that it will help get me PG.
- That it wouldn’t happen the first time you didn’t use birth control like we were led to believe in school.
- That you wouldn’t know how important a baby was to you until it took so long and you realized what you were willing to go through to make it happen.
- That family would act like getting pregnant was a competition between all the young couples in the family, and the first one to get pg "wins".
- That my DH is the most wonderful and caring man!
- That it is insensitive to ask people when they are having a baby!
- That women who do get pregnant are so very blessed!
- That had I bought stock in Clearblue Easy I’d have my mansion on St. Pete’s Beach in FL by now.
- That docs should prescribe Zoloft with Clomid.
- That it does not get easier, each cycle is harder than the last.
- That a group of "strangers" who I will probably never meet, have now become my "best friends" when it comes to ttc.
- That I would splash urine on my face while taking apart an hpt in the hopes there really was a 2nd pink line hiding in it.
- That talking about sex with fellow TTCers would be so easy.
- That infertility is more common than you think.
- That DH would get used to doing his ’thing’ in a jar.
- That one day all of this will make us stronger.
- That there is sometimes darkness (infertility) before the light (a baby).
- That infertility is not as rare as I was led to believe.
- That I would find it difficult to be happy for other people’s pregnancies and that I would hide my sadness from them upon hearing their news.
- That I would make so many new, wonderful friends who totally get how I feel because we all suffer from the same affliction of infertility.
- That there is nothing to aid conception in the water at work, despite what some may say.
- That I would know about other peoples’ BD, CP, CM but not know there real name, their DH’s name, or their occupation.
- That I could spend so much time and money on figuring out what my body is doing (or not doing).
- I had no idea your uterus could be misshaped.
- That a simple blood test costs $648!
- That sex could ever become a chore!
- That actually having a miscarriage would allow me to understand the loss that others have felt and that it would make me want a baby even more than before!
- That I would resent someone who has been trying less time than me telling me "I know how you feel...."
- That DH would be overly concerned that our BD positions were the most effective ones!
- That I would become addicted to POAS and not sleep at night because I couldn’t wait to POAS in the morning!
- That I would learn to speak in code - "I checked CM which was EWCM but when I will POAS who knows, DH won’t let me for fear of BFN."
- That you HAVE to have sex even though you don’t feel like it, but because your FM says high or peak.
- That I would hear well-meaning questions like: "Have you thought of taking your temperature?" (and this is after 20 months TTC...)
- That my brother, who started TTC at the same time we did and whose wife got PG three months later, would go on and on telling me how tough and tiring life with a baby is, and then finish with: "You have no idea what it’s like!"
- That we would have to schedule a BD session so DH could do it in a cup a few days later.
- That I might have to help DH do it in a cup.
- That my friends who started TTC # 1 around the same time we did would already be pregnant with 2 before we get pregnant with 1.
- That I spent years trying not to get pregnant, and praying for my period. Now I can’t seem to lose the witch!
- It’s good to know I am not alone.
- That sex does NOT ALWAYS lead to pregnancy.
- That you only have one 24-hour fertile time during the month.
- That you would be keeping it a secret from everyone.
- That you feel useless as a female.
- That you feel stupid and naive for thinking a pregnancy would occur "when it was supposed to."
- That I would meet such wonderful group of people that I can share my sorrow, frustration and fears with.
Hope everyone has had a great weekend. xoxo Yo!
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Clomid Chronicles - Day 3
Hi all,
I'm now officially on day 3 of clomid. I really haven't felt much in terms of side effects, which is think is good. I guess I am a tiny bit moody, but I've really tried to keep it under control as much as I can. I think it helps that I have been sleeping pretty well, and for 7-8 hours per night.
I did have a ton of energy today which is nice and even got to go out running. I was able to walk/run 3 miles, so I'm pretty happy with that. I also had the chance to hang out with my big brother and his wife, and they always bring a smile to my face. They are hoping to get pregnant this year also, so, with any luck, maybe we'll be pregnant together!
Thanks for reading - hope this is giving all those who care another view into the clomid world!
Happy Easter to everyone!
xoxo Yo!
PS - MY UCLA BRUINS WON!!! It was a nail biter, but we did it. On to the Sweet 16 next week. YAY!
PSS - Hummm, I may have just had a very mini-hot flash. I was sitting here writing, and all of a sudden I got very warm. No sweating or anything, but real feeling of warmness and for a very short time. Interesting....I'll keep you all posted!
I'm now officially on day 3 of clomid. I really haven't felt much in terms of side effects, which is think is good. I guess I am a tiny bit moody, but I've really tried to keep it under control as much as I can. I think it helps that I have been sleeping pretty well, and for 7-8 hours per night.
I did have a ton of energy today which is nice and even got to go out running. I was able to walk/run 3 miles, so I'm pretty happy with that. I also had the chance to hang out with my big brother and his wife, and they always bring a smile to my face. They are hoping to get pregnant this year also, so, with any luck, maybe we'll be pregnant together!
Thanks for reading - hope this is giving all those who care another view into the clomid world!
Happy Easter to everyone!
xoxo Yo!
PS - MY UCLA BRUINS WON!!! It was a nail biter, but we did it. On to the Sweet 16 next week. YAY!
PSS - Hummm, I may have just had a very mini-hot flash. I was sitting here writing, and all of a sudden I got very warm. No sweating or anything, but real feeling of warmness and for a very short time. Interesting....I'll keep you all posted!
Vivid Dreams
Good morning!
Okay, don't know if this is a product of clomid or not, but I'm just realizing that last night and the night before I had VERY strange and vivid dreams. I can't remember what they were about right now (typical for me...I rarely remember my dreams), but I know I woke up thinking I should post that. I remember when I was PG a year ago, I had a dream actually seeing the sperm swim into the egg right about the time I ovulated, then many strange ones just before I tested. I'm guessing that when my hormones leves are different than normal, my dreams decided to come to the forefront!
Other than that, still spotting a bit from AF, but feeling rested and good. Nothing else to report right now. Hope everyone is doing great!
My UCLA Bruins play at 6:15pm tonight - wish them tremendous luck!!!
xoxo Yo!
Okay, don't know if this is a product of clomid or not, but I'm just realizing that last night and the night before I had VERY strange and vivid dreams. I can't remember what they were about right now (typical for me...I rarely remember my dreams), but I know I woke up thinking I should post that. I remember when I was PG a year ago, I had a dream actually seeing the sperm swim into the egg right about the time I ovulated, then many strange ones just before I tested. I'm guessing that when my hormones leves are different than normal, my dreams decided to come to the forefront!
Other than that, still spotting a bit from AF, but feeling rested and good. Nothing else to report right now. Hope everyone is doing great!
My UCLA Bruins play at 6:15pm tonight - wish them tremendous luck!!!
xoxo Yo!
Friday, March 21, 2008
Clomid - Day 2
Hi all,
Just writing to let you know how my day went. I really can't say I felt any difference, maybe a tiny bit testy when the IKEA service wasn't exactly up-to-par this morning, but it all ended up okay. Right now, I do have very tiny headache, but probably more related to the concentrating I had to do to put together the wardrobe unit I purchased. I do really love it, and our bedroom looks soooo much better now.
So, basically, nothing yet that I would consider a real side effect of taking clomid...let's hope the only side effect of taking clomid is a healthy pregnancy!
Wishing my UCLA Bruin basketball team great luck in their game tomorrow against Texas A&M. Go Bruins!
xoxo Yo!
Just writing to let you know how my day went. I really can't say I felt any difference, maybe a tiny bit testy when the IKEA service wasn't exactly up-to-par this morning, but it all ended up okay. Right now, I do have very tiny headache, but probably more related to the concentrating I had to do to put together the wardrobe unit I purchased. I do really love it, and our bedroom looks soooo much better now.
So, basically, nothing yet that I would consider a real side effect of taking clomid...let's hope the only side effect of taking clomid is a healthy pregnancy!
Wishing my UCLA Bruin basketball team great luck in their game tomorrow against Texas A&M. Go Bruins!
xoxo Yo!
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Clomid - night one
Hi all,
Just letting those who check in that I took my first 50mg clomid pill tonight. So far, haven't felt at thing and it's been about an hour - I guess that's good! We'll see what tomorrow brings. I'm going to bed now!
One more side note...my little UCLA Bruin basketball team won in the first round. GO BRUINS!!!
xoxo Yo!
Just letting those who check in that I took my first 50mg clomid pill tonight. So far, haven't felt at thing and it's been about an hour - I guess that's good! We'll see what tomorrow brings. I'm going to bed now!
One more side note...my little UCLA Bruin basketball team won in the first round. GO BRUINS!!!
xoxo Yo!
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
One more day
One more day until I try clomid. DH and I have been trying for 18 months, one miscarriage and one chemical pregnancy. Don't get me wrong, we've had a ton of fun, but sometimes, it feels like business more than pleasure.
So I saw the dr today for an ultrasound of my ovaries. They do this to make sure you don't have any cysts. If you do, clomid isn't a good choice because it helps to stimulate your ovaries, and overstimulation of cysts leads to larger cysts, which can be very painful and lead to temporary infertility. Well, mine were normal and she saw two developing follicles there - YAY! She gave me the prescription, and I was off. I am to take it on the evenings of cycle day 3-7. Cycle day three for me is tomorrow. I will be taking 50mg. There are varying medical opinions of what days to take clomid - some say day 5-9, some say day 3-7. I'm not sure what the difference is, so I'll just trust my dr's clinical experience. I really, really, really hope that this leads to pregnancy...I've longed for it for more than a year.
So, like my friend Jen, I will try to document every day that I take clomid. I'm not sure what to expect exactly because every woman is different. I might have hot flashes, ovarian pain, or other symptoms. I think it would be very weird to get a hot flash...I feel way too young to think about that yet. After all, I'm only 39...ha!
So DH will be on a trip to Las Vegas this weekend to watch March madness with his old fraternity brothers. This is a yearly trip and I'm so happy this working out that he can go and just relax. He really needs it. Plus, hopefully, he'll miss any hormonal happenings due to the clomid, which is good.
That's it for now. Hope everyone is doing great. Thanks for reading my blog!
Yo
So I saw the dr today for an ultrasound of my ovaries. They do this to make sure you don't have any cysts. If you do, clomid isn't a good choice because it helps to stimulate your ovaries, and overstimulation of cysts leads to larger cysts, which can be very painful and lead to temporary infertility. Well, mine were normal and she saw two developing follicles there - YAY! She gave me the prescription, and I was off. I am to take it on the evenings of cycle day 3-7. Cycle day three for me is tomorrow. I will be taking 50mg. There are varying medical opinions of what days to take clomid - some say day 5-9, some say day 3-7. I'm not sure what the difference is, so I'll just trust my dr's clinical experience. I really, really, really hope that this leads to pregnancy...I've longed for it for more than a year.
So, like my friend Jen, I will try to document every day that I take clomid. I'm not sure what to expect exactly because every woman is different. I might have hot flashes, ovarian pain, or other symptoms. I think it would be very weird to get a hot flash...I feel way too young to think about that yet. After all, I'm only 39...ha!
So DH will be on a trip to Las Vegas this weekend to watch March madness with his old fraternity brothers. This is a yearly trip and I'm so happy this working out that he can go and just relax. He really needs it. Plus, hopefully, he'll miss any hormonal happenings due to the clomid, which is good.
That's it for now. Hope everyone is doing great. Thanks for reading my blog!
Yo
Sunday, March 2, 2008
Acupuncture
Well, my previous dr suggested I try acupuncture to boost my fertility, so I am taking advantage of services offered by my university for now. It only costs $20 per treatment, instead of $100 or more at other places. It's very interesting to me and I believe that we don't fully understand the benefits of Eastern medicine. This time she had needles (no, it doesn't hurt when they put them in) in my feet, hands, head, face and belly. She also put a "cup-like" thing on my belly, but I didn't ask what it was for. I remained in that state for about an hour and tried to fall asleep as she suggested. While I was in a quasi-dream state, I felt a "rush" sensation about half-way through the treatment in my abdominal area. Don't know if it was a dream or a feeling related to the treatment. We'll see what happens!
As strange as last cycle last one was, this one seems much better. AND, I think I'm going to O significantly earlier than all of my other cycles. My OPK test today is almost a positive, and my fertility monitor gave me a peak for two days in a row. The monitor is interesting, and I've been looking at the lines to see if I can see what is increasing. Last month, the line on the right never got very bright. This month, the line on the left has been dimming (I'm guessing that's the estrogen hormone test line) and the line on the right is darker than I've ever seen it (I'm guessing that's the leutinizing hormone). I'm not temping this month, but since I'm getting "peak" on the monitor, it is tempting me to do so. For now, I'll just have fun with DH until I leave on my trip to Oregon and we'll see what this cycle does.
As strange as last cycle last one was, this one seems much better. AND, I think I'm going to O significantly earlier than all of my other cycles. My OPK test today is almost a positive, and my fertility monitor gave me a peak for two days in a row. The monitor is interesting, and I've been looking at the lines to see if I can see what is increasing. Last month, the line on the right never got very bright. This month, the line on the left has been dimming (I'm guessing that's the estrogen hormone test line) and the line on the right is darker than I've ever seen it (I'm guessing that's the leutinizing hormone). I'm not temping this month, but since I'm getting "peak" on the monitor, it is tempting me to do so. For now, I'll just have fun with DH until I leave on my trip to Oregon and we'll see what this cycle does.
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